It is actually something that I don't know how to do. Through much reflection (just because I don't talk about me, doesn't mean I don't think about me), I think I have pinpointed a few main reasons as to why I am dysfunctional in this area.*
First of all, I never believe that people are actually interested in what I have to say. Me? So boring! I assume they would much rather be talking about themselves, or just talking. Thus, when it's my turn to answer a question, I become flustered and rush through whatever answer comes to mind, and then immediately ask a question, and ask and ask and ask, to avoid my ever having to talk about myself in that conversation again. It works!
I also simply hate being the center of attention, or really just the focus of any attention whatsoever. When I am talking, and people are listening, someone is focusing on me. No thanks!
*I am 100% aware that all of these reasons are irrational and do not justify my uncomfort
First of all, I never believe that people are actually interested in what I have to say. Me? So boring! I assume they would much rather be talking about themselves, or just talking. Thus, when it's my turn to answer a question, I become flustered and rush through whatever answer comes to mind, and then immediately ask a question, and ask and ask and ask, to avoid my ever having to talk about myself in that conversation again. It works!
I also simply hate being the center of attention, or really just the focus of any attention whatsoever. When I am talking, and people are listening, someone is focusing on me. No thanks!
*I am 100% aware that all of these reasons are irrational and do not justify my uncomfort
Don't I know it dude. I have actually started listening when I talk about myself and it's awkward! I downplay everything, I try to make everything sound better than it is, and I abbreviate my entire life.
ReplyDeleteIt's kinda nice, I've perfected my "about me" speech -- I know exactly what to say that will answer everyone's questions, still make them laugh and feel like they got to know me, although they didn't even scratch the surface.
It may sound sad but really there are just few people I actually want getting to know me. Everyone else I put up this front, and it's okay by me!