You are a soul.

I was out the other day with a friend.  A woman passed us in the aisle, and gave us a strange look.  I couldn't quite decipher it, but I didn't find it malicious in any way.  The girl I was with, though, apparently took offense because she said something about "She's not even pretty."  I responded by saying "I think she's pretty," and in return got a reply of, "Yeah well you think everybody's pretty."

As if it was a bad thing.  As if my opinion would never count because I just thought that everyone was pretty.  It made me so sad.

Sometimes I'm very surprised at who people will deem "not pretty."  Often I will find a woman so beautiful, and am shocked to hear people say "I guess she's cute" or "but look at her figure" or "she might be pretty if..."  And inside I just kind of shirk and think, I think she is beautiful.  What makes you think otherwise?  If you don't find her pretty, do you even think I am?


It's true - if someone is so willing to label a woman as "not pretty" then why would they not think the same of me?  Or my sister, or my mother or friend?

I know many ladies who, to the world's eye, are surely more plain than some.  But I know it is not my place, right, or responsibility to determine who is adequately beautiful and who is not.  And because I know all aspects of their character and heart and personality, I am stunned to find that someone might not think of them as beautiful.  Because to me they are so lovely.

Now, I am not perfect, and I'm not saying I never see flaws in other women, and I'm not saying that I've never thought of any woman as unattractive before.  Of course I have.  But I am learning, and growing and my thoughts are changing.  And I can guarantee you that every such thought in me has stemmed from jealousy or insecurity.  How about this one - Why does she have a hot boyfriend and I never have any boyfriend?  She's not even pretty.  I can't tell you how many times this thought has flitted through my mind, as some sort of defense against my insecurities about the fact that guys tend not to express any interest in me.  All these questions why, what am I doing wrong, is there something wrong with me, that the enemy puts in my head to make me loath myself.  And the first reaction is to project these negative thoughts on someone else.

Thanks to God's grace I am usually able to come quickly to the other side of these irrational self-attacks and calm myself with the knowledge that His perfect timing will bring me to the man He has for me, be it in 2 years or 10.  And I am able to thank him that because guys aren't chasing after me all the time (or really ever), I am not constantly distracted or led away from my priorities.  And He reassures me and tells me that no matter what anyone else thinks or says, I am beautiful.  Because He made me.

So who am I (or you, for that matter) to have a beauty scale and arrange people accordingly?  I know we think this way because I have thought this way before.  Her face is pretty but she has such an apple figure, I'll stick her above ______ but below ______.  She's got a great body but should obviously be wearing more makeup over that awful skin, I'd say she's more attractive than ______ but definitely not as pretty as ______.

God made each and every one of these women.  He decided to give her an apple figure.  He decided to give her a big nose.  He decided to give me oily skin and weird old lady hands and He also decided against giving me nice cheekbones.  Well, let Him decide for goodness sake.  He's God, and I'm not going to question Him.

I'd like to reiterate that I am not perfect - I'm not trying to lead you to believe that you'll never hear me say anything negative about another women's physical body.  Because sometimes I do.  Again - not perfect.  But I'm doing it less and less, and I'm learning to be intentional about not only words that I volunteer but also intentional about words that I agree with.  I am so guilty of mindlessly giving a "Haha yeah" in response to one of these negative comments.  So I am trying to work on that.

I love what C.S. Lewis said - "You do not have a soul.  You are a soul.  You have a body."

God looks at our soul.  Let's try to see what He sees.